Drinking and Blogging

I have many, many random talents. This evening, while I'm drinking half a bottle of $5 wine, I'd like to share these mind-boggling skills with you:

-I have extremely warm hands (all of the time) and have been known to charge $5 to hold your hands and warm them to my own temperature! I can also use this power to gross people out when it's actually hot outside.

-I can apply makeup while driving stick shift and talking on the phone. I'm not just talking lip gloss here people. I mean a full face of foundation, concealer, powder, eye primer, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, bronzer, blush and lipstick. That's right. I have skills!

-I can lift both eyebrows individually and stare at you in a quizzical manner. I actually had to practice this one but it's very effective.

-I am fantastic at putting together a gift basket and can create perfect bows!

-I always know when someone is shady and am constantly declaring shenanigans on people I don't trust!

-I am extremely skilled at pretending to like people I think are shady when my friends won't listen to reason and make me put up with their crap! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

-I can perform the "Elaine Dance" (Seinfeld) like a champ! Just ask me, I'll do it for you. :)

-I have an incredible gift for making fun of people. If you doubt me then just re-read yesterday's installment about Shnooke Rogan.

-I can sing, on demand, almost any TV theme song from the 80's. It's true. Even Mr. Belvedere!

-I can hold an entire conversation in "Movie Quote" language. All of my siblings can do this too but it's extremely rare to meet others who posses the "gift".

-I can create a victory dance at any occasion. This usually involves many James Brown foot shuffles and a lot of jerky arm movements.

-I'm excellent at assembling furniture from Ikea. My boyfriend is terrible at this but I can build a dining table like a teamster!

Here's just a few random talents that my friends and family have that might blow your minds:

-My brother-in-law, JJ, can throw his legs behind his head and light his farts on fire! Seriously, I've seen him do this a bunch of times and it creates a blue fire ball!

-My sister Sabrina and my mother can both wiggle their ears in an extremely creepy way. They stare right at you without changing the expression on their faces and wiggle away! Yikes!

-My friend Elaine can divide a bill among a table of 8 people and calculate the tip per person! She has a Masters Degree in Voice Performance so naturally, her education speaks for itself.

-My brother TJ can name every obscure actor from every bit-part in television and film ever! With TJ on my team we would definitely clean-up at the Pop Culture World Series!

I'm tired now people so enjoy these random thoughts. Stay classy and thanks for stopping by. :)